Here are three ways we are in charge of our own happiness:

1. Self-love.

We can choose to look in the mirror, literally and figuratively, and take in what we don’t like—or we can choose to focus on what we do.

While there are tons of things I could want to change about myself, I value the person I’ve worked hard to become, and the person I am innately. I’m not suggesting that we put up blinders to our flaws, or that we can’t work on becoming better people, but there comes a point where if we want to love ourselves, then we need to embrace who we are completely—right here as we stand in this present moment.

2. Perspective.

Nobody escapes this life without challenges or difficulty. However, how we perceive these difficult moments and spaces within our lives is what sets us—and our attitudes and our levels of overall fulfillment—apart.

There will assuredly be periods of heavy sorrow, and grief, and even a little wallowing from time to time—for all of us. Yet choosing to see these people and situations that challenge us as opportunities for growth, as well as temporary setbacks, is paramount for generally enjoying our lives.

3. Imperfection.

Expecting perfection sets us up for not being able to enjoy life.

People will never be perfect, so this means that our marriages won’t look like romance novels, our jobs will always have days when we greatly wish that we were somewhere else, and those we love will have their own needs, challenges and struggles, too.

Expecting bumps in the road, and flaws, helps us to equally choose to witness life’s natural beauty.