There is always a saying that goes; ‘like father like son’. However, this is not necessarily applicable in love relationships. This is because there is an assumption that unlike our parents’ relationships, ours is characterized by frequent break-ups and disappointment. Most of the current relationships are believed to end up in unexplained divorce, the murder of the partner and many other unpleasant states. The question has always remained why? Therefore, people have tried to give the answer to this ‘big question’ based on their imagination, observation, beliefs, and surprisingly unrealistic assumptions. As a result, there are several myths explaining reasons for the short-lived relationships;
1. In every two couples, one relationship ends in divorce
This is a serious and almost too harsh belief that given a chance to take roots in our society, long term marriages will be a history to the next generations. We would say this has some element of truth in the 1970s due to the rise in divorce cases. Since then there has been a decrease in divorce case according to New York Times. It goes as far as giving evidence that most marriages that occurred in the 90s have lasted for at least 15 years now. Unlike in the past, most people currently get married at an older age when they are more mature. Maturity, therefore, dismisses the myth that divorce is 50%.
2. The probability of second marriages lasting is low
It is encouraging that even after a divorce or a partner dies, some people are still willing to get into a relationship again. This shows the strong positive attitude that people have towards marriage. If everyone had the thought that second marriage is a failure, none would have even tried the second time. It is a clear indication that marriage works. However, this myth has some element of truth according to statistics.
3. The nature of the wedding determines the bond in marriage
In the real world, there are big expensive weddings and vice versa. This is what most people have used to judge the strength of the marriage bond. Some say it is directly correlated while others say it is inversely based on the live experiences that they have witnessed. For instance, The New York Times clearly showed it is inversely correlated. It stated that the excess money used for the wedding expenses renders the couple broke. Most of the disagreements in relationships are caused by financial challenges hence affecting the newly-weds.
4. It is possible to prevent a marriage from divorce
This is a very serious myth that has resulted to couples killing each other in the event of trying to make their marriages divorce-proof. Logically, it is not possible to change another person’s behaviour. It is only yours that you need to change, and if it does not help, divorce option becomes favourable. Therefore, you should not blame yourself for a failed relationship because it is sometimes hard to make it work.
5. ‘Come we stay’ before marriage cements the relationship
Some people say that people who live together before marriage can easily divorce, but studies have disapproved this myth. According to Arielle Kuperberg, a Professor at the University of North Carolina staying together before or after marriage does not affect the relationship in any way. However, living together while you are still very young is what leads to divorce according to this professor.
6. Infidelity ends marriages
Infidelity has for long been considered the main cause of divorce and breakups in a relationship. However, this isn’t the only cause; according to a sociologist at the University of Winchester, Eric Anderson, the expectation that your partner must restrict sex is the major cause of breakups. Well, infidelity can cause friction to your relationship but not necessarily breakups.
7. Unhappiness is a sign of a failing marriage
Marriage takes effort and endurance to make it strong. It is normal for couples to disagree in a marriage but through talking, such issues can be solved, and life continues. Every marriage has a challenging point and if all people would consider divorce there would be no such a thing as marriage in the world; everyone will have divorced.
8. Common Interests cement a relationship
It is very hard to meet two couples who totally have the same interests. Well, you may find a few exceptions that have the same interests, but this isn’t what keeps them together. How they interact while pursuing these interests is what determines their relationship.
There are many beliefs trying to explain relationship failures. Some make total sense and are the probable cause of problems in healthy relationships. However, others are just unrealistic and inexplicable. There are many causes of relationship failure; there is no one main cause. It is possible for a marriage to last long.